Are You a People-Pleaser? 3 Signs You Might Be (And How to Heal the Habit)

Do you often put others before yourself, even when it costs you your peace, health, or happiness? If so, you might be carrying a pattern many sensitive, kind-hearted souls develop early in life: people-pleasing.

From a young age, we are taught that approval or achieving things equal love.

When you took your first steps, everyone cheered for you.
When you said something funny, people laughed and you felt accepted.
When you got good grades, you were rewarded and told how proud everyone was of you,

Somewhere along the way, praise began to feel like proof that you were good enough. And so you learned to perform, to make sure others felt comfortable, happy, and entertained… even if it meant betraying your own needs.

As a recovering people-pleaser and a practitioner supporting clients through emotional, energetic, and spiritual healing, I see how deeply this programing is in our ancestral line (coming from our family members) and how this conditioning affects the physical body. I observe that the throat chakra is often involved, as this is our energetic center of truth and authentic expression. Many people-pleasers struggle with:

• Difficulty speaking up

• Fear of disappointing others

• Frequent or regular neck muscle tension

• Thyroid imbalances or frequent sore throats

• A lifetime of "biting their tongue"

If this resonates, you’re not alone, and you can heal this pattern.

3 Signs You Might Be a People-Pleaser

1. You say “yes” when you really want to say “no.”

You agree to plans, favors, or commitments to avoid conflict, guilt, or the fear of letting someone else down.

2. You feel responsible for other people’s emotions.

If someone around you is uncomfortable, upset, or disappointed, you immediately try to fix it, even when it’s not yours to carry.

3. You shrink your truth to keep the peace.

You hold back your opinions, your preferences, or your needs because you don’t want to be judged, rejected, or seen as “too much.”

If you found yourself nodding at these, take a deep breath. Awareness is the first step toward reclaiming your power.

Why People-Pleasing Affects the Throat Chakra

The throat chakra is connected to communication, self-expression, and truth. When we repeatedly silence ourselves, a blockage can form, impacting our physical, emotional, or energetic layer of our self.

Common symptoms that may show up include:

• Frequent sore throats

• Losing your voice easily

• Tight jaw or teeth grinding

• Thyroid inflammation or imbalance

• A history of tonsil or throat issues

Your body is always trying to send your messages to get your attention. If your voice has been silenced, your body might be trying to get your attention by creating a physical symptom to enable your authentic truth to be heard. Your voice may try to tell the story you didn’t feel able to share.

3 Healing Practices to Break Free From People-Pleasing

Here are some self-loving, practical tools you can begin using today to set your voice free:

1. Write a Release + Burn Letter

This is a powerful way to free the words you never got to say.

How to do it:

• Write a letter expressing everything you’ve held inside (best done outside in nature if that feel right for you!).

• Read it once to witness and honour your emotions.

• Then safely burn it, or tear it into tiny pieces and release it (garden, bin, or bury it).
  Your intention sends a clear message to your energy body: I release this from my field.

2. Name Your People-Pleaser Persona

A playful way to build awareness.

Give your inner people-pleaser a name (e.g., Silencing Sarah, Approval-Seeking Annie, People-Pleasing Paul).

When you observe the pattern appearing, you might say to yourself:

“Ah, there’s Sally trying to keep everyone happy. Thank you for trying to protect us, but we choose to speak our truth with compassion, love and kindness now.”

This interrupts the habit and invites a new response. Be curious and see if you can catch the pattern of thoughts and stop it in mid=thought!

3. Practice Speaking One Brave Truth a Day

It might be as simple as:

• “I need a moment to think about that.”

• “No, thank you.”

• “That doesn’t feel aligned for me.”
  Every time you speak from your heart with love, you strengthen your throat chakra and your self-trust.

A Final Loving Reminder

You were never meant to live your life through someone else’s expectations. You came here with a soul mission, a purpose, a voice that is needed in this world.

You are allowed to take up space.
You are allowed to change your mind.
You are allowed to disappoint others when the truth asks you to honour yourself.

The right people will love you not for what you do for them, but for who you truly are.

If You’re Ready to Heal This Pattern More Deeply…

I offer 1:1 sessions and programs to help you:

• Clear energetic and emotional blockages

• Support the throat chakra and whole-body energy field

• Reclaim your voice and personal power

• Break unconscious people-pleasing patterns for you and your whole family line

• Connect with who you are beyond roles and expectations

You can learn more or book a session here:
You are so much more than this pattern, let me walk beside you and help you observe it, transform it & step into your empowered version of you!!

Abundant Blessings Sheryl